Sunday, January 6, 2008

Married.

So there, I did it. We did it. Erin and I got married. That's right, I'm now Mr. Jeremy Chapman!

Of course, most of you who read this were probably there, and those who weren't... either it's your fault, or .... haha. Sorry.

Anyway, here's a sample picture from the wedding...


Compliments of Grazier Photography. I think it exemplifies what our marriage will be like: classy, artsy, fun, and really, really goofy.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Fantastic 5th

I'm watching the latest Fantastic 4 movie with Gwerin, and the defense department asked Reid Richards to do a science thingy for national security. Instead, he refers the good General to Dr. So and So, head of the physics department at Brown. That's right, Brown!! Now I know I made the right decision to come here! I mean, basically, the Fantastic 4 refer to, in some way or another, ME. I'm practically the Fantastic 5th! Now what powers do/could I have...

In the interest of blog participation, please, tell me what power you think I should have, and/or what power you would have, had Reid Richards referred the welfare of the world to you...

Friday, November 16, 2007

Spam 4 cheap $$!!

Spam filters, I imagine, use some sort of algorithm to detect what it should consider spam or not. Subject lines and email content that include references to Viagara, Penis Enlargement, Cialis, Erections, and any number of symbols used to spell out those and other 'buzz' words. The Brown spam filter works much this way. However, that leads me to wonder what people in the Medical school do, and what about people who study anatomy or biology or sexual psychology or whatever do? I imagine a lot of their emails get marked as spam. Do they have to disguise their emails by changing words like 'penis' to say... 'puppy'? Do they send emails regarding the psychological effects of puppy size, so that their messages get through? A spam filter can't tell the difference between 'Viagara 4 low cost! Huge, fast effects now!' and 'regarding paper on effects of cost of Viagara on low income men in their 40's' or whatever.

It's probably not fair.

I'm just saying.

Saturday, November 3, 2007

Dark Matter really is dark!

Hi, it's been awhile, but I've been busy. Hm. Understatement of the year I think. 14 hour days start to get to you.. In fact, I've noticed that all this fancy learnin' has actually begun to push other information out of my head. When I was a kid I was able to remember license plates of all my friends and their parents. I remembered telephone numbers from when I was a kid... Now all that is gone (though not really missed). Now I forget conversations and events, I forget when they happened, something that happened two days ago I claim happened weeks ago... I'm actually becoming an absent minded graduate student. Anyway, hopefully it's not all for naught. I've come to the conclusion that graduate school, so far anyway, would be very satisfying if it weren't for the classes. On that note, I'll segue to a discussion of my research....

Dark matter. I'm working on an experiment called LUX, which I think stands for some amalgamation of liquid, underground, and xenon. Of course, the underground isn't liquid, the xenon is.... Anyway, this is an experiment to detect dark matter directly. Dark matter has been detected indirectly, which is why it was postulated to begin with. Dark matter was theorized to account for the rotation of galaxies among other things. Gravity (Newton's, as well as Einstein's General Relativity) tell us how galaxies should rotate given a certain amount of mass at their centers. However, galaxies rotate differently than these theories predict for the amount of mass that we can see. The key here is 'see'. We look at a galaxy with visible light telescopes, as well as X-Ray telescopes (among others) and can see how much regular matter is there, because it glows (because it has some non-zero temperature). When it glows, it is releasing radiation, some of which we can see (stars), and some of which is in the non-visible part of the spectrum, which we 'see' with X-Ray telescopes. Anyway, the point is, we can tell how much regular matter is in a galaxy, but it behaves as if there is more matter there. This cannot necessarily be described with just a black hole, which can be very massive, and as light doesn't not escape it, very dark. However, we can tell the size of the black hole at the center of galaxies by the Hawking radiation emanating from it's event horizon (this is radiation emitted from matter that is accelerated towards the black hole). Also, the galaxy appears to rotate not as if there is some extra matter can't see at the middle, but as if it is distributed in a sphere extending in a 'halo' around the galaxy! Since we can't see what matter could be doing this, we postulate that it is dark. This means that it doesn't give off radiation like the normal matter that we're made of, as well as the stars and all the other glowing matter that I mentioned earlier (known as baryonic matter). This implies that it doesn't interact with regular matter via the electromagnetic force, which causes the radiation that we see. So we think that it must be weakly interacting, yet still very massive. This gives rise to the particle known as a WIMP (Weakly Interacting Massive Particle), which we believe is dark matter!

So, LUX is an experiment to detect WIMPs. Remember, they're weakly interacting, not non-interacting. So we try to detect how they interact with regular matter by bumping into the nucleus, rather than the electrons around the nucleus, which is predominantly how baryonic matter interacts. The basic setup for the experiment is a bucket of liquied xenon (very large nucleus, good for WIMPS to bump into) that is very cold, and quiet. When a WIMP streams through the detector (they're streaming through all of us right now, without interacting, or barely interacting with us) it may bump into the xenon nucleus, which gets heated up slightly from the interaction, and emits radiation (light) that we detect. That's it, pretty simple huh? Yes and no. There is a lot of other stuff streaming through us right now, besides WIMPs, which is more strongly interacting. So if we were to turn our detector on right now, on the surface, without any shielding, it would light up like a Christmas tree. This is because all the other particles (cosmogenic muons from the sun, radiation from normal matter that decays in and around us, etc.) interact in the detector too, causing a lot of background noise (signals we don't care about, that are not WIMPS). So we put massive water shields around the detector and go deep underground where most of the radiation from the sun cannot reach. The water shield absorbs most of the radiation from the cavern rock and all the other stuff in the room. Then we use very clever veto techniques to rule out interactions as being WIMPs. For example, a neutron that decayed from the cavern wall might enter the detector, but it when it hits the xenon nucleus it will impart a lot more energy than a WIMP, so we call it a high energy veto, which means anything depositing energy over a certain threshold, is not a WIMP, so we ignore it. Also, WIMPs are so weakly interacting, they are sure to interact only once in the detector, if at all. Other particles like neutrons may interact more than once. So we use a multiple scatter veto to rule them out. Many other techniques like this are used to sift out signals that we know aren't WIMPs, to look for ones that might be.

So far, experiments like this one haven't turned up any verifiable detection of dark matter WIMPs, but LUX will be the most sensitive dark matter detector in the world when it is turned on. Even if it doesn't see anything, we'll be able to rule out a lot of theories for dark matter, which is just as exciting, because it opens up new physics. The great thing about experimental physics is that whether your see what your were looking for or not, you have revealed some great truth about nature that will keep theorists busy for years.

Anyway, that should be enough to keep you busy for awhile, please post any questions, as I'm sure you will have some, unless this is completely uninteresting to you, in which case, thanks for reading anyway.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Fat Guy On A Bike

I've been waiting to write this post until I had enough concrete evidence that he in fact, exists. Every morning and evening, when the lighting is just right, you can see a fat guy on a bike ride past my house. He's a rotund fellow and is often seen with a blue backpack. His ride is slow, but silent. I've collected the following evidence of FGOAB (These images have been enhanced):

This first documented sighting was in the early morning. You can see FGOAB riding by over the kid with black shirt's shoulder.

These next three were all taken at night as FGOAB crossed the street in front of the house, and then rode by. I have enhanced the details so that you can see the FGOAB.


I think you can also see FGOAB in this photo...



So there you have it. I'm not crazy. There really is a Fat Guy On A Bike in my neighborhood. As of yet I haven't heard of him harming anyone... but it's only a matter of time....

Thursday, October 11, 2007

9 Manliest Names Ever

Cosmic Variance points to this article listing the 9 manliest names ever. Of special interest to me is Max Planck. I use his name literally every day as he helped develop quantum mechanics and has an oft used constant named after him. Also noted is the idea that Max Planck would have been an awesome pirate name.
"yaarrr, walk the my last name!"
awesome.

This leads me to the formulation of the 'porn name'. Your porn name is constructed by taking your middle name and following it with the street you grew up on. Keep in mind not all are winners. I am Jonathan Main. Not too bad. Alternatively, Jonathan Mercury if you use the street I lived on briefly in Arizona. Better.

Everyone, submit your porn names into the comment section of this post. The person with the best porn name will immediately grow a mustache and/or perm.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

the ideal applicant will have 5-7 years experience as a buddhist...

Steve and I recently came to the conclusion that the occupational landscape in the time of the Buddha was a bit more bleak than it is in modern day America. That being said, some new guidelines were drawn up for the definition of good and bad goals to have in life. We decided that one shouldn't be stuck in a crappy job that is not satisfying, and as a good buddhist, be encouraged to become peace with it. Instead, the following list of good and bad goals in life, should help guide you:

Good Goals:
Secure on occupation that is both intellectually and spiritually satisfying.
Work related goals that one enjoys working towards.

Bad Goals:
Nice car.
Big house.

The idea is that one should enjoy and be satisfied during the pursuit of goals, not only be satisfied with the attainment of goals. Don't work towards a promotion to a position that you don't want to do because it pays more. Do what makes you happy, and be happy with that.

This life lesson brought to you by... "The Dharma! Ride The Way!"